The Way We Become by Amber Smith

The quick cut: Three girls who testified against the man who violated them tries to move on with their lives after sentencing has occurred. 

A real review: 

Thank you to Margaret K. McElderry Books for providing the arc for an honest review. 

 While justice is a concept that many can believe in, the reality is that it often doesn't look the way we want it to. For Amanda, Eden, and Gen, that is very much the case after Kevin has been found guilty and they attend the sentencing. 

 Amanda has watched her family get ripped apart as she testified against her brother, Kevin, and spoke her truth. Kevin's other victims, Eden and Gen, did the same at the trial - speaking to the horrors that they survived at his hands. When he was found guilty, they hoped that it would allow them to put the past away for good and move forward knowing it wouldn't happen again. Are the horrors they experienced over with? Or will it continue to haunt them even after the perpetrator is put behind bars? 

 Of the three books in this series, this one is easily the biggest gut punch. While many books talk about the violations of sexual assault and the trials that go along with them, rarely do they cover what happens after justice is served and the guilty are put away. This book talks about that experience and how the guilty rarely see themselves as what they are: a violator. Their victims often live in a state of suspended anticipation of their violators chasing them down again. It's horrifying and sad, but also a common experience. This is why sexual assault so often goes unreported - because the reporting process often just further victimizes the people who did the right thing. 

 Of the three girls, the one I related to the most was Amanda. She's in the unique situation where the violator is her brother and the process of going to trial rips her family apart. While her mom supported her through the trial, her father made it clear that he supports her brother who is now behind bars. All Amanda can think about is how she wants to keep her little sister Libby safe and keep Kevin as far away as possible. Meanwhile, her parents are continuing to struggle to choose their daughter instead of the son who did something horrible to these girls. It's heartbreaking and yet it happens a lot more often than you realize. Sibling abuse is far more common than it's discussed and it is the type of violation that can completely upend your ability to ever trust another person again. 

 Eden and Gen have their own experiences trying to adapt to post-sentencing life, just from a less family-oriented perspective. Eden continues her relationship with Josh and struggles to let him get as close as he wants. Meeting the family and moving in together are major relationship milestones she wants to take but doesn't know how without letting the dark past cloud it. Gen is living with her sister and husband - trying to figure out what to do post-college dropout. Can she feel safe again enough to not put everyone around her on edge? These aren't easy experiences. Moving on looks different for each person. Depression, PTSD, and anxiety are common responses to trauma and each of these girls experiences these conditions in their own way.

 A powerful and impactful story about how sexual assault trauma lasts long after the perpetrator is put behind bars. 

My rating: 5 out of 5