Everything's Not Lost by Frederick Joseph

The quick cut: A sixteen year old girl with bipolar disorder struggles to return to normalcy after her sister's unexpected death and the aftermath. 

A real review: 

Thank you to Viking Books for Young Readers for providing the arc for an honest review. 

 Mental health conditions come with a stigma that can haunt you everywhere you go, but when you have a meltdown? That haunting can very much take over your entire life. For Ella, it feels like she'll never have a sense of peace or normalcy back. 

 Ella feels like the problem, even though she wishes she wasn't. When her sister died of an overdose, her best support disappeared with her. Having someone talk badly about her deceased sister only made it worse, causing her to have a public meltdown at school. Now she's preparing to go back to school and she's anxious about what it's going to be like. Will she be able to feel a semblance of normalcy again? Or is it gone forever? 

 This book has so many layers, it's hard to talk about them all. Between Ella's bipolar, her mourning the loss of her sister, her parents mourning their daughter's death, and the school drama that occurs at Ella's return, there is so much occurring that is a familiar experience for anyone who identifies as being neurodivergent.

 I may not be bipolar or be able to relate to the highs & lows, but I do relate to the struggles to feel like a part of the world instead of the weird loner that it's outcast. Being Autistic comes with its own batch of issues. My inability to organically understand social context is a consistent, awkward reality for me. I want friends and to feel like I have a support system, but anyone who isn't in the same boat typically treats me like I'm asking for too much. It can really affect your self esteem and your confidence. 

 Ella loves through her own version of that struggle. Beyond the internal battle, she has a front row seat to watching her parents overprotect her for what they see as her own good. She also has an anonymous bully at school doing whatever they can to scare her away and get her moved somewhere else. Being bullied for being different is a very common experience for the neurodivergent community. 

 I adored the very real struggle that Ella portrayed. I've lived through that frustration when you know you can do better, but can't seem to stop yourself from the meltdown. Feeling like you're failing to be a source of pride to your parents. Wanting to feel like you're capable of being independent. Ella is imperfect and she knows it. She tried to do better and that's a good role model! We need more representation like this. 

 I also loved the racial diversity in the mental health portrayals. Ella is black and one of her group therapy friends is Vietnamese with a bipolar diagnosis. Each one has their own coping mechanisms and low points. All too often, mental health conditions are whitewashed and we need more diverse representation. We need better understanding and empathy around these disorders. Having diverse characters is a big leap forward! 

 One thing I didn't like is how the bully subplot gets resolved. Without revealing too much, it felt like the author wanted you to empathize for the bully and their struggles. I get it, they did a bad thing for their own struggle. Realistically, not all bullies do this type of behavior out of a need of their own. Sometimes, people are terrible and use you to bolster themselves up. I don't need another story where the bully is made to be another victim. It's becoming the new cliche and it doesn't represent the circumstance with a majority of bullies in these cases. 

 This book is absolutely worth the read. I rooted for Ella and absolutely wanted to see her family succeed. 

My rating: 4.25 out of 5